It's too soon to make a decision... Ironic because, although I am a self confessed Indecisive and Impulsive person, still I want and am still trying my best to think this one thing through... I sure as hell wouldn't want to fuck this one up...Never again...
I am now quite unsure of my feelings for my significant other... Also quite unsure of how this "other" person feels for me. However, I don't really think that I am assuming with regard to how this other person feels for me since cards have already been drawn, and laid on the table (you know what I mean?? - C'est difficile! Je ne comprehend pas!).
I can't help but think that once again, I am just making excuses... Or maybe everything between this other person and I are just too casual that I can't help but feel that it is just a fleeting thing... fleeting thing... hmm.. It struck me just now, maybe it is because of the combination of these two words that the word "fling" was formed... maybe.
In relation, I would also just like to make it clear that, NO I am not a cheater, or a player, or a efin bitch (whatever the right term is) for that matter. Because I am NOT cheating, neither am I playing, nor using nobody.
Details of how my day was today...
My significant other and I saw each other just a few hours ago. She picked me up at my unit. We stayed longer than we shouldv'e - because of "circumstances that simply bring too good of a feeling that makes it all the more hard to resist!". We had dinner and talked about what happened between the two of us, and..and..and..basically we just talked about stuff. Things that happened in school, at home, and things happening between common friends, which we swore we would never let happen to us...
This other person (who is a "friend" - Who is actually the one who encouraged me to start blogging - who will now be called Simone Webb) alread knew that my significant other (who will now be called Dame) and I would meet today, and that Dame would be sleeping over this weekend. So naturally Simone Webb and I had come to an "agreement" that we would just start to keep in touch this coming Monday and that he would come over (omfg! I still haven't told him though, that we wouldn't be able to see each other on Monday, since I would have to go to the hospital for my appointment with the doctor). And again, just to make it clear, the reason we had this "agreement" is because of course, he knows that I am still in this relationship and that my time with my signifacnt other, at the end of the day is still what is important. And most importantly (at least this is what I think) he does not want me to get into any kind of "trouble" - not that I am really doing anything that would call for an arguement or whatever...
Moving on... I just think that it is kind of weird, and I also feel guilty in a way, because the whole time that Dame and I were together, it was Simone Webb that I kept on thinking about. We had dinner along Taft, and naturally there were students from Taft who I saw there. Some of which were HRIM, which! made me just think of Simone Webb all the more!...and It's weird because although I have long known that Simone Webb was an HRIM student (Simone Webb just graduated. CONGRATS!:D), I never really thought of him as much as I did earlier (even though I saw much more of these students in the past) ...Weird...
I have been wanting to talk to Simone Webb for the past three hours now. Unfortunately, I was not able to save his number... And I really really want to talk to him right at this very moment. He hasn't kept in touch yet because of our so called "agreement" (for a lack of a better term)...Hayy... But come to think of it, maybe it is a good thing. Maybe now, I should just embrace the time that I have for myself, and think about things that I should be thinking about...Maybe this way, by not talking to anyone, I would be better able to reflect and understand things in a much clear manner...
And so now, I will think...
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