Feeling much better now..Ü

Last night I experienced yet another "manic-depressive" moment. I was sad for the reason that I had too much confusion going on in my life, that I felt I had to put an end to...but to no avail.

Thank God that today, I am again a-ok!Ü

I realized that there are a lot of things that I should not only be grateful for, but should be enough reason for me to be happy...I have people who love me and cherish me...My friendship, my mere presence, my REAL essence...as a woman, as a girl...and maybe as something in between (you dig??)!haha.Ü

For the longest time, I have been striving to find happiness in my life. It's not that I have found none...it's just that happiness, just like everything in this world is a fleeting thing, and when the moment disappears, I cannot bring it back...Thus, a moment of confusion and sadness begins...

If anything, with what I am going through right now, I have learned (and am still learning) the value of time, moments, spaces, and gaps...

I am not a self proclaimed benevolent person. But with the life pattern that I have been living, I realized that more often than not, I put other people's happiness before mine...I'm not quite sure if it's a good or bad thing though...However, it still stands that it is YOU before I.

I once heard (or read- I'm not quite sure), that the greatest gift you can give someone is the gift of Time...True...And it is because of which that I am now giving myself that gift...A gift that in my own opinion is long over due...I will now be living my life with all the time in world, smack right down at the palm of my hand!!! Ü

In giving myself time, I will not isolate or detach myself from things that I have long known. Rather, I will give myself, and take all the time to figure things out...Sort my emotions out, and discover where my true happiness lies...It will be the greatest journey of My life... I will start to live my life by not merely breathing without even thinking, travelling without really learning...Tasting without really enjoying...Time is the means, and happiness will be my end...I don't have to rush anything...Besides, NOW is the time when I am happy (whether REAL happiness or "fabricated" happiness)...and I will revel and thrive in that HAPPINESS!!! Ü

KUDOS!!